I do not plan out what I am going to write nor do I have any idea what it's going to look like when I am done. It is a sort of automatic writing, like W.B. Yeats wrote about, but with a bit of minor editing. It rarely comes from my mind and mostly comes directly from my heart and my deepest feelings. And this is why my writing can be both deeply satisfying as well as alarming. Sometimes I am shocked at the very depth and breadth of my own feelings and yet they fly out of me no matter who is looking. They simply will not behave themselves and stay down. I have been told that this is exactly what makes me a dangerous woman. If so, then dangerous I am.
I don't censor myself and I suppose this is what causes fear in some. After all, I believe in the possibility of things where many others see impossibility or extreme unlikelihood. I venture forth into places that might be called risky or foolish or impractical mainly because it is in those areas that I find my nuggets of beauty and truth as well as the people I am supposed to know, no matter what is going on in our lives at the time. It is always my heart leading me, and when it speaks to me I listen. All the outward trappings fall by the wayside and there my heart is naked and standing strong. No shame. The real me. With no mask or costume I hold my heart in my hands so you can see your own.
This heart of mine has a language all its own and so that's one of the reasons why I try to share it in my writing, instead of the language of my mind. The language of my mind can be so fearful, critical, doubting and limiting that it can create an artificial distance between us and I never want that to happen. This language of the heart is the holy ground where I extend my hands to you in love, in greeting, in soulful recognition. Please don't be afraid. We don't have to know where we are going. You have walked with me this far so let's keep walking. We might find something.
Wow. Stunningly original and brave. I see many lines here that will resound in my mind and heart for weeks to come. I especially like "I believe in the possibility of things where many others see impossibility or extreme unlikelihood. I venture forth into places that might be called risky or foolish or impractical mainly because it is in those areas that I find my nuggets of beauty and truth as well as the people I am supposed to know, no matter what is going on in our lives at the time." And your reminder that "The language of my mind can be so fearful, critical, doubting and limiting that it can create an artificial distance between us and I never want that to happen." It seems, in fact, that the language of society at large tends to be fearful, critical, doubting and limiting, along with special segments of it - academia, technology, politics. So important for us to take a stand against this and to stand with "no shame" and no mask, as you say, and to really work to close the distances between us. Brava!
ReplyDeleteJune, thank you so much for reading and commenting. I value your thoughts above all others and so your words mean a great deal to me here.
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